The Face of a Facade Success

 

Dear Universe,

Hello, it's me again. Sorry for flooding a lot of my "me" lately. 

So, here I am again — dealing with lost followers after several boosting. And this services, feel like more of a scam rather than a growth.

I'm very much hesitated of the boosting services. I experienced it before — it makes me jolly to see four-digit following only to fade after what? A month or two. And here I go again, losing followers that isn't organic in the first place. A waste of money and a facade success. Not mentioning the delusional growth I am throwing all over the social media.

Annoyed, yes. A little demotivated, of course. But real thing is, I'm being caught by the content creation community that big numbers are equals to more content offers and paid collaborations. Trust me, there are a lot of brands in the Philippines that is after the number of followers that everyone in here are pushed to do the boosting services. 

I guess, it's not bad, for numbers don't lie but what will happen after the boosting? Followers decrease making you question your worth and the art you produce. ( If it doesn't to you, it does to me! )

As a creative since 2018, the creative / blogging world changes and that I guess, I don't keep up. Probably. Or I just can't prove a point on my contents? Or most of my followers are just after my nudes? 

Well, I don't know. I feel like my efforts are not seen and I'm just being delusional. I believe in the saying — "Wanting mangoes doesn't make your peaches any lesser; they just want mangoes" — it is very comforting, but still I want outcomes, not just efforts. And my efforts don't just reflect outcomes here.

At the same point, I don't know if it is still the boosting anymore or me, giving up.

But if I give up — what does it make me?

Taking pictures makes me happy. Sharing it shows that I am capable of doing so. And I guess, I don't need validation from people liking my stuff or not, because those who see the beauty of what I advocate will definitely appreciate the things that I do. 

And this time — I will be doing it for myself and not to please anybody else.

I'll have my breakthrough again. Things may not go according to the plan, may take time — but it will all be worth it.

Love,

Zoey