How was life lately?

 Hello Universe.

I've been posting a lot of my contents lately, but if you are asking, how am I right now, I honestly don't know.

Things been a little different now. I have this amazing job where I am helping a lot of people — mostly our patients. While I am not considered medical, in the field that I am on, I can say, I am essential. Not essential, essential, but supplemental, essential.

The first three months were amazing. Probably amazing because like them, I am a patient, too and I bring hope to everyone that they can be like me. And they are a proof of life that I fight so hard to get out from. I love spending time with them, as I still get used to the work I am doing, I am still learning. I have to get a lot of certificates to be able to work around in the office, attend to the patients, be the escalation of the disturbed people, and studying like a student and working like a doctor, is kind of tiring — at some point.

And receiving a lot of mental and emotional toll from a lot of people, figuring out how to help them see the positive sides are kind of burning out my sparks.

And speaking of sparks, Yrren and I are doing much better. Well, we still fight and S. sometimes still lurks around ( adding Yrren one time and blocking him, sending me a message on Tiktok, unfollowing me on Instagram ), weird, but I accept it. They have a rough patch that both of them need healing from, and I get that. I totally understand that, promise I do. 

We celebrated our monthsar yesterday, and I was so happy because I got more than a dozen flowers and I got to eat squid with tomatoes stuffed inside. Been craving that for weeks now. Our relationship was not perfect, I knew that. We still argue, fight and say mean things to one other and, while it was hard to keep disagreement healthy, I somehow, managed to actually control what I could control — my perceptions and reactions, all my creations.

Mom is doing well, too. She can walk now and roam around. While she has been so support with everything I am doing, I am so thankful for having her and my siblings around, helping me to be independent. 

Well, spending feels really nice. But sometimes, tiring. Like I work, then I spend, and sometimes, I don't know my limit. The more I earn, the more that I want. That's not growth or instability, it's insecurity. Which annoys me a lot.

Well, I'm changing my wardrobe and everything right now. That explains a lot of spending because I am investing in more stability clothes that will last for years. Structured dresses, blazers, suits and good shoes. Perfumes make me feel well-accomplished every month, though.

I'm still looking for a friend. As I step to young adulthood, I believe there are friendships that may be outgrown, not because I don't want them, but because it is a process. Process of growing up, process of having big dreams, chasing life-time goals, widening horizons and more grown-up talks sessions, more bills discussions, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway, for my education, I will appreciate if I can, like, make, two trainings every month, regardless a price range, I have to have at least one, the least. Trainings are really important to keep me updated and calibrated to the recent happenings and updates in the psychology industry.

Life overall is tiring and exhausting, but we, I, get by. We survive with a touch of lavishness on the side, so I think, life is good. Life is providing and I am thriving.

Thank you so much, Lord. 

 

Much love,

ZOEY ♡